Roommate

James slammed the door upon entering the flat, angrily kicking his shoes off, and flinging his backpack to the ground. 

“Woah, woah, woah,” chuckled Sebastian, “Calm down!”

James did not reply, choosing instead to shove a frozen dinner into the microwave and setting the table for one. He sat at the table and wolfed down his food, not even looking up to watch as Sebastian sat down in front of him. 

“How was your day?” asked Sebastian, fiddling with his fingers as he spoke.

James did not reply.

“I had a pretty slow day,” continued Sebastian, “I just sat on the couch and thought a bit. About life, you know? It’s so strange that-”

WIthout bothering to listen to what Sebastian was saying, James pushed his chair back, creating a high-pitched scraping noise, got up, and left. Sebastian would be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit hurt by James’ behaviour, but he would also be lying if he said he wasn’t used to it by now.

Sebastian didn’t like to be treated this way – it felt like James couldn’t even see him, or hear him. It made him feel unwanted, unloved, alone. They were so close in metres, yet so far apart in the soul. Sebastian missed the times when his roommate and best friend would laugh with him, compliment his cooking, or just acknowledge the fact that he was there. But now when Sebastian tried to make him laugh, he wouldn’t even look his way. When Sebastian cooked, James would heat up another frozen meal in the microwave. But the worst of all was that James had been completely ignoring Sebastian since… well, for a long time. Sebastian would feel a sharp pain in his heart every time James neglected him – like a thousand daggers being stabbed into his chest, all at once. He was right there, right there – but at the same time, he wasn’t. 

Sebastian watched as James opened his phone to accept a call. He pressed the phone to his ear, and for the first time in what felt like decades, Sebastian could hear the sound of James’ voice, even if it wasn’t directed at him. 

“Yes, that is correct,” James was saying into the phone, “yes, I am looking for a roommate.”

Sebastian swore that he could feel his heart drop to his feet. A new roommate? Did James really hate him so much that he needed a new roommate?

“All right, sure, yes that’s perfect,” James said. “I’ll bring my stuff in a few days.” 

“James!” cried Sebastian, “Why are you doing this? Why are you replacing me?”

James did not reply.

He put down the phone and burst into tears. Sebastian was unhappy with James, but how could he see his best friend crying and just stand there doing nothing? He rushed over to where his roommate sat sobbing on the couch, and he rubbed his shoulders with his cold hands.

“It’s all right,” soothed Sebastian, “why are you crying?”

James did not reply.

“Why,” said Sebastian, “why won’t you just talk to me? Acknowledge my presence?”

James did not reply.

James was heartbroken. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out and repeatedly stepped on. In a few days, he would be moving out of the home he had shared with his roommate and best friend, Sebastian. He looked around the room, trying to soak in all the memories he had made with Sebastian in here, trying to imprint them in his mind so that he would never forget them. 

He would miss Sebastian, he always would, but he needed to leave this house. And he knew that as he packed all his things into suitcases and bags, he was taking all the memories with Sebastian too.

And so Sebastian watched his best friend leave the flat that they had shared for so long, trying so hard to find a way to make James see him, to hear him. 

James drove to his new flat, an occasional tear trickling down his face, but not before making a quick detour. James couldn’t control his tears as he placed a bouquet of roses on Sebastian’s grave. 

He had never been the same since Sebastian died three years ago – he cried more than he even smiled, and he couldn’t live in that apartment without the memory of his best friend filling his mind with every step he took. It was almost as if James could still feel his presence in the house, even years after his death. Which is why he needed to move on. But he new he would never move on from Sebastian, his best friend and roommate, no matter what.